Orange you glad we had a revolution?

So, why was it called the Orange Revolution?

For those of you who don't closely follow Ukrainian politics, the Orange Revolution was a movement that began on the Ukrainian election day Sunday, November 21, 2004. This incredible movement arose in protest against disreputable campaign tactics and election freud by the administration of the "winner" of the election, President Victor Yanukovich. Many also protested Yanukovich's desire for closer ties with the Russian government and criticised him for being "In Putin's pocket".


The leader of this revolution was Victor Yuschenko (yes, another Victor ) who was also leader of the opposition. He favored closer ties with the west, getting Ukraine to be part of the UN and getting rid of the Russians once and for all.
The election day rally of many thousands of supporters grew in the following days to a rally of millions of people, who camped out in the streets of the Country's large cities and refused to leave until the election was declared freudulant and a new election was called. On Dec. 26, 2004 Ukrainians went back to the election booths, voting for Viktor Yushchenko and successfully voting him into office with the help of a lot of election monitering.

So why "Orange" revolution? Well, Victor Yuschenko's campaign colors were Orange. In Ukrainian Culture, orange is the traditional color of rejection. It came from a tradition in village life. When a young man (lets call him Slavko) approached a young lady (lets call her Marika) to ask her to marry him, she had 2 main options.
Option A: Marika could say yes! Now, would any self respecting Slavic woman just go ahead and make it easy for the manyand just say "yah, ok lets get married"? oh, no my friends. To say she approved of the match, (and bear in mind he would actually be asking her parents, and not her) She would scratch her fingernails against the walls of the clay-mud oven called a peech as an indication that she would like to marry him.
Now, if Marika was to choose Option B, she would reject poor Slavko. To do this properly, she would hand him a bright orange pumpkin. Sometimes she would need to think about the proposal for a few days, so she would then leave the pumpkin outside his door step.

yes, I'm not kidding.. Marika would give Slavko a pumpkin.

So, for Ukrainians, Orange is the color of rejection, and the Orange revolution rejected their political administration.

Ethnic School Memories

I first learned what humiliation was when I was enrolled in St. George's Ukrainian Saturday Morning School when i was in the 4th Grade. Now, as any child who has been forced into going to Ethnic School will tell you, missing saturday morning cartoons and getting extra homework every week is not a happy experience. Sadly for me, my parents figured that, since they were already driving my older sister on Saturday morning to advanced Ukrainian School, I might as well get put into the elementry school.



The principal of the school told my parents i had to start in the first grade with the 6 year olds.
I was 10.
Not only was I the biggest kid in the class, but everyone assumed that since my last name (Atwood) didn't sound the least bit Ukrainian (because it isn't) It was naturally assumed that I was The stupid english kid who failed grade 1 four times in a row. Needless to say... no one played with me at recess...
Kids can be so cruel...

Eventually I moved on to "Koorsih" which is kind of like Ukrainian Saturday High school. I did Ukrainian 10, 20 30. It was Hell. Hell on a stick.

Imagine Angry new immigrants who speak more Russian then Ukrainian working in an underpaid and underfunded basement of an Orthodox church with bratty high school kids. Now, imagine them with badly dyed eyebrows and bleached hair.
These were my teachers.

There was Pani (Mrs.) Ploohi. She tought us Geography. I think. She spoke so fast i didn't understand a thing. She liked to squeek the chalk on the board when we fell asleep. OnceThis guy Marko sat in the corner and we put our coats over him and he chucked cheese at her when her back was turned. She didn't think it wasas funny as we did.

In History we learned about the brave Cossaks and the Spread of Christianity by the Brave Prince Volodomyr of Kyiv Ukraine. NOT RUSSIA. UKRAINE. We also learned about the many tyranical countries that oppressed Ukraine over the course of 800 years. Here are a few:
Mongol Tribes
Lithuania
Poland
Germany
Austria Hungary
Tar Tar Nomads (NOMADS kicked our ass! Nomads.. how sad is that?)
and.. Everyones favorite to hate.. the Russ-kies

In Literature class my Friend did a Ukrainian Book Report on the well known Classic "Hop on Pop". (I think for Ukrainian Geography he also did a very moving paper on the city of Calgary)

Our literature teacher showed up hung over every week and we would have classes where we would read our text while she sat with her head on the desk for an hour and a half.
Every single story we read in that class involved:
A. Someone starving to death
B. Someone who had to walk a great distance and then starved to death
C. Someone who was looking for their lost love, and therefore had to walk a long distance and then starved to death.

In Languege Class my friend Anna and I would write crazy stories about Yaks, Snails with party hats and people with gigantic Afros. These were occasionally accompanied by a dynamic and moving dramatic interpretation.

We also dressed up as sheep for a class play once. We were the stars.

Well, I did learn stuff. I still have entire Taras Shevchenko poems memorized. At the drop of a hat, i am still able to name the different oblasts of Ukraine and tell you their key natural resourses. And I have an extraordinary ability to gripe about the many.. many.. countries that opressed the homeland. Yes, My Ukrainian Education will serve me well in the real world, don't you think?

An Acutual Conversation with my Mother

So - I was helping my Mom make dinner one night and we were talking about Grad School

Me: (setting the table) So, I'm thinking about going out East to Grad School with Amy.

Mom: (cutting vegetables)Oh, that sounds good - you've mentioned that before.
Me: Yah, I was thinking about going to Dalhousie in Nova Scotia

Mom: Well, its a very good School, and Nova Scotia is Beautiful

Me: I was also thinking of going to Memorial in Newfoundland

Mom: (drops the knife, turns and stares at me)newfoundland??? NEWFOUNDLAND? WHAT KIND OF UKRAINIAN CATHOLIC HUSBAND ARE YOU GOING TO FIND IN NEWFOUNDLAND?

ME: Ummmmm I probably not a good one...

Mom: Oh Lord.. oh LORD YOUR GOING TO BRING HOME A NEWFIE AND NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND THE WAY HE TALKS!!!! oh lord.. oh lord.. where have I gone wrong?

Me: Uhhhhh well, thats not really politically correct..and Amy wants to go too

Mom: Ohhh,...you and Amy? Alone in NEWFOUNDLAND? What are you going to do in Newfoundland - I'll tell you what you'll end up doing.. your going to sit around and make Hootch in a bathtub.

Me: I don't think anybody really does that anymore.. not since the prohibition anyways..
Mom: Where did I go wrong..Oh lord.. (trailing off in dispair)


yes.. these conversations are normal in my family...